P-U

Image from cochranscartoons.com

Dear hunting enthusiast,

I will not slight you for hunting.  I used to be that way, but if you're eating the meat or donating the meat to a shelter or food bank, kudos to you.

BUT...

If you have been out hunting, I beg you, implore you, get down on my hands and knees and plead of you...

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, SHOWER OR AT LEAST CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES IF YOU HAVE DOUSED YOURSELF IN DEER URINE.

That is all.

Y'all are all Fucking Retarded

I try not to throw teens under the bus and lump them all together as snot-nosed punks.  In fact, most of the teens and tween who come into the library are great.  I've watched kids grow up and become really fascinating, remarkable individuals.

I've also seen some self-righteous, entitled little shits, too.

The one in question here has a fabulous mother who is always nice.  The child in question has gone from one extreme to the other, and is currently suspended from school.  In the last week, I have had to tell her that she can't use her mother's library card to get on the computer ("Ugh!  I was just sitting here while she went outside!") and letting her boyfriend use her library card to use a computer after I'd told him that he had a fine AND the DVDs were still out, so I couldn't even let him pay on the fine to use a PC.

The pièce de résistance came the other day when she wanted to use the phone.  We have a pretty strict policy on phone use as we've had people try to conduct business phone calls on our line in the past.  We have a fax line and an incoming call line.  We can't have the lines tied up.  You can use the phone in case of emergencies or if you need a ride.  That's it.  No bargaining, no wide-eyed, puppy-dog begging.

Apparently, this child asked one of our pages if she could use the phone.  The employee asked for an explanation of what she needed.  The girl in question just needed to call someone to get another phone number, but it did not meet our phone policy criteria.  The page explained our phone policy.  The girl shoots her back a dirty look.  Said page continues to look at her and apologizes, but states again, that's our policy.  

"Well, y'all are all just fucking retarded."

Well, alrighty then.

Buncha Smart-Ass Bitches

I tell myself daily that I love people. 

I don't believe myself.

This evening, I was turning off PC monitors before we closed.  Our computers shut down 15 minutes before we close so that we can herd people out of the library.  Seriously.  When we say we close at a certain time, that does not mean that your ass can stay after that time. 

But I digress.

Two women were on a PC, working frantically on who knows what.  One asks for more time when I inform them that the PCs shut down 15 minutes before we close.  One seems accepting of this information, the other gets downright bitchy. 

Patron:  I can't believe they didn't tell me that the computers shut down before the library closed!  I asked what time they closed!

Me:  Did you ask what time we closed or what time the computers shut down?  I'm sure if you'd told the librarian that you needed to use the computers, they would have told you that they shut down early.

Patron:  Of course I did!  I asked what time you closed and then I asked if the computers would be available until then.

Me: (Suuuuuuuure you did.)  I'm sorry you weren't given the correct information.

Patron:  Well!  We wouldn't have driven over here if we'd known this!

Me:  (Why did you drive over here?  There's a library where you were.  Were you banned?  I'm beginning to think you were banned.)

A few minutes later, I walked over to the area again, this time to take down a clock that had stopped. 

Patron:  Excuse me?  Can you come over here and show us how to print this out before we run out of time in 56 seconds. 

Me:  (Standing on chair... begins to get down out of chair to head that way.)

Patron:  Ma'am!

Me:  I'm coming.  (Seriously, I was 5 feet away, on a chair.  Could she not tell I was headed that direction?"

I see that she has a website pulled up.  I click on "File, Print" etc. in order to get the item printed out before the PC shuts down.

Patron:  Where is it?  Where will it be?

Me:  It prints out at the front desk.  You can pick it up there.

I pick up the clock and head to the office to change the battery.  On my way, I turn to the ladies at the circ desk and say "Will you please check to make sure that whatever it is they need on PC #10 has printed out?"

A few minutes later, one of our pages comes in, holding what appears to be a mostly blank page.  She is followed closely by our circ manager.

Page:  OMG.  1) It didn't print out right and 2) what bitches!

Circ:  By the way, you should know that we're all "a bunch of smart-ass bitches."

Me:  Seriously?

Circ:  Yes, I informed them that they can't talk to us that way.

Outreach Librarian (who has found her way in):  I told them they had to leave.

Turns out she also escorted them from the building.  I love her.

I still don't love people.