Saturday, March 19, 2011

Everybody Poops

Most librarians are familiar with the book "Everybody Poops."  We're asked quite often for books on potty training, so we try to make ourselves familiar with books of that nature.  However, "Everybody Poops" has attained its infamous status because hey, poop is funny.

Usually.

Sometimes, being a librarian is a stinky, messy job.  Before I began working at the library, two of my co-workers had to follow a toddler's poop trail.  That's right, I said POOP TRAIL.  The child's diaper was so full that it sagged under the weight of the poo, sagged enough for the poo to escape and drop to the floor.  My co-workers noticed the child's diaper as he toddled out of the library behind his mother (just a diaper, mind you) and saw the horror that the child left behind.

Eww.

I've also heard a story of the poop in the book drop.  Again, eww.

About a year ago, our lone male librarian came out of the men's restroom, with a disgusted look on his face.  Someone had taken a dump IN the urinal.  I'm not quite sure how that was accomplished, but one of the ladies went into the restroom and took care of the cleanup while the rest of us debated on the logistics of pooping in a urinal.  Though, I would think it would be easier to poop in the urinal than in the book drop.

This past week, we had two instances of personal excretion problems.  One regular patron approached the desk and said "I'm really sorry to tell you this because I know you don't want to hear it.  The urinal and toilet in the men's room both look like they've overflowed and it doesn't look like pee."  Oh, yay.  I was working the desk and informed two of my co-workers, one of whom sighed and went to grab the mop.  Later in the week came the evil nastiness, when our poor lone guybrarian wrinkled up his nose and said "Do we have cleaning gloves?  Someone pooped on the TOILET SEAT."

HOW DO YOU MISS?  I know that some people have a fear of toilet seats, but there are toilet seat covers and toilet paper.  Even when I've squatted to use a port-a-john, I've been able to hit my mark.  AND I'M A CHICK!

Alas, everybody poops, but not everyone aims correctly.