I Want My Internet and I Want it Now!

Part of your job as a librarian is to give your patrons access to information.  Actually, that's the biggest part of your job.  Some of that information might be found in books, other in magazines, newspapers, on microfilm or on the internet.  Heck, we get phone calls from regular patrons and others from out of state utilizing us as their personal 411 service.  We look up phone numbers, give recommendations for meals, give directions, etc. etc.

It gets annoying from time to time, but it's part of the job.

Back to the internet.

Patrons in good standing can logon to our system.  They each get 60 minutes a day.  If they need extra time (usually reserved for just homework) we can grant that if there's no one waiting.  We also allow out of town guests to use our system, leaving an ID or something at the front desk in return for a guest pass.  We also have free wireless, no access code needed.  I know of patrons who have parked in our lot at night to access the web.  Just another service we offer.

Lots of times, I might not even talk to a patron using a computer.  They come in, make their own reservation at the laptop and logon.  If a guest comes in, I might have to show him how to use the system.  If they print something out, they have to come to the desk to release and pick up their print job (done so we don't waste paper).

There are some patrons that make me giggle when they use the PCs.  I pass one gentleman every morning on my way to work.  (I drive, he walks).  He's there not long after we open and gets on the internet immediately.  What does he do?  He plays games on the internet.  One day, I heard the sound of a digital camera.  This man was holding up his cell phone, taking pictures of his high score.  I catch him doing it occasionally and it always makes me shake my head.

Then there are the ANGRY COMPUTER PATRONS.  One such lady was at the library yesterday.  She approached the desk, telling us that her computer had locked up.  My co-worker and I looked at each other and she decided to check it out.  She stormed back to the counter a few minutes later.  She had asked the lady what she was doing, trying to figure out what had locked the computer up.  The woman kept cutting her off, complaining that she had LOST THREE MINUTES OF HER COMPUTER TIME!  (The horror!)  Before my co-worker could explain that, because it was our problem, her time would be restored, the lady continued to complain that she'd lost time and kept cutting her off.  My co-worker got the computer rebooted, logged the patron back on and had returned to the desk.  After going through all of this with me, I hear my co-worker grunt and she grabs my elbow.

Co: OMG!
Me: What?
Co:  That!  That's what was so important!
Me: What are you talking about?
Co: (steering me to see the computer screen of the patron) THAT!  She had to get on FACEBOOK!
Both: (synchronized eye-rolling)

Don't get me wrong, I love FB.  I have one that I've been known to check at work or even update from my cell (no, you can't have a link) and have argued with my bf on the good qualities of FB (he refuses to get one).  But to pitch a fit like a 4 year old not getting to play with his favorite toy because you can't check your FaceBook page?  Get. A. Life. 

Librarian by Day. Vampire Book Whore by Night.

I love to read.  I've always been an avid reader.  When I was a kid, my family lived around the corner from our public library.  I could cut through the neighbor's yard and be at the library in less than 5 minutes, never crossing the road.  After my parents' divorce, my mother even worked part-time there.  (Yet another way I'm following in my mother's footsteps, but I digress.)  I friggin' LOVED the library.  I spent hours upon hours at storytime, graduating to my own library card as soon as I was eligible, then perusing the stacks for copies of Nancy Drew.

I was and am a bookworm.

Not all librarians, however, are bookworms.  Despite myths to the contrary, not all of us are this way.  I'm happy to say that myself and my co-workers are the epitome of the myth.  If one of us can't suggest a book of a certain genre, we can point to another librarian who can.  If we haven't read it, we've cataloged, shelved, cleaned or checked it in/out.  (Yes, cleaned.  We clean every book that's checked in with alcohol.  We don't want or need your germs.  Or your kids' germs.  Or whatever that goop is that you set your library book on that's now crusted onto the cover.  We. Don't. Want. It.)

Anyway.

Right now, I'm reading Quiet Please: Dispatches from a Public Librarian.  Scott Douglas is witty and honest (sometimes quite brutally).  I'm enjoying the book, so much so that my ass is posting this at 1am, a time when I'm usually found snoozing away in bed.  (People who tell me that they read in bed so they can go to sleep confuse me.  If I'm reading a good book, I have a hard time putting the damn thing down to get my beauty sleep.  And I NEED my beauty sleep.)

I don't want to give you the wrong idea.  I don't just read books about my profession, nor do I read only non-fiction.  Far from it.  As much as I loathe the bodice rippers that come across the circulation desk, I'm a vampire lit freak.  FREAK, I tell you.  And it's all Anne Rice's fault.

Like I said earlier, the first chapter books I really remember reading in the library were Nancy Drew cases.  (Before this, I was addicted to anything having to do with Peanuts.  Lucy VanPelt was one of my first heroines.)  Somewhere along the way, I read Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson (my second all-time favorite children's book, closely following C.S. Lewis' The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.)  Then, my dad hooked me on Science Fiction, primarily Isaac Asimov and Alan Dean Foster.

Then came Interview with the Vampire.  Sweet Jesus, I was hooked.  I read every one of the vampire chronicles and then the Mayfair Witches.  And forget Lestat.  I wanted Louis.  All that brooding!  (Take that Edward.  Louis broods WAY better than you do and he doesn't do that sparkling shit.  And yes, I've read the Twilight series and I enjoyed them.  I even saw the first two movies.  But after seeing the second (BAD) I couldn't bring myself to watch the third.  Not yet, anyway.)  While there are Buffy books, I'm a slave to Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer series - Spike! (And let's not forget Rupert Giles, THE sexiest librarian to ever grace the small screen).

I read Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse series (which I enjoy more than HBO's True Blood, thankyouverymuch.  In fact, I like Harris's Aurora Teagarden series better - about a librarian who solves crimes, yay!)  My current favorite is Mary Janice Davidson's Queen Betsy series for all of its wit, cursing (lots of it, almost as much as me) and fast-paced antics.  Oh, and she has a shoe fetish, as do I.  Sweet.  I'm also (somewhat ashamedly) reading the Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead.

Oh. My. Gods.  I'm a vampire book whore.

But I'll still sneer inwardly when you check out that Debbie Macomber book.

No, I'm Not a Babysitter

Our policy is easy and (IMHO) a little lenient.  Children under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult or guardian.  The term "guardian" also currently includes older siblings.  Oh yeah, that's right.  We occassionally have babies watching babies, if you will.  Especially during the summer.  We also ask parents to watch their young children while they're here.

But that doesn't always happen.

In the Easy Reader/Children's section, we have a PC setup with a Fischer-Price keyboard and games.  Kids under the age of 7 can play on the computer for a short period.  Cool?  Yes.  Annoying when the parents think they can drop them there and spend an hour on a PC checking their e-mail?  Hell yes.  Especially when the child is 3, still in diapers, drooling all over everything and crying for momma.  What's momma doing during this?  Facebooking and ignoring the child.  One of us must leave the desk, find momma and inform her that she needs to be watching her child.  Most of the time we get "oh, sorry," then the mom takes the child back to her pc, the child stays there for 5-10 minutes and then gets bored that mom's ignoring her and proceeds to walk BACK to the kids' pc.  This process gets repeated until:

• A) the librarian gets frustrated enough that she stops trying,
• B) the child cries loud enough that the mother gets embarrassed and yanks the child from the library,
• C) the child cries loud enough that the mother gets angry and proceeds to yell at the child in front of everyone or
• D) the other patrons begin complaining loud enough that the parent finally pays attention to her child.  (D happens VERY rarely.) 

What always gets me are the parents who act like they've never heard of this policy or try to tell us "other librarians have said it's ok."  Well, it's not ok, this is our policy, so suck it up.  OK, so maybe I don't tell them to suck it up.  Most of the time.

Last week was a great moment in Dealing With Irritated Parents 101:

Child gets on one of the children's computers for the first time.  Parent has no idea how to help the child log on.  I help the child make her reservation and logon.  Go me.  Parent's cell phone rings (argh-ever heard of VIBRATE?).  Parent approaches desk.
Patron:  My other daughter is being dropped off at the house and I need to be there when she's dropped off.  Is it ok if I leave my daughter here?
Me:  (Looking at child.) How old is your daughter?
Patron:  7 1/2.
Me:  I'm sorry, ma'am, our policy is that children under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.
Patron:  I'll only be gone a few minutes.
Me:  I'm sorry, ma'am.  That's our policy.  (Because I'm not a babysitter, dammit.)
Patron:  HMMPH.
Patron then storms off, plops down beside her daughter using the computer and stays.  What the  fuck?!?!?!?!  Thought you had to run home to get your other daughter.

Argh.  I love stupid people.

About me and the blog. Because you care.

Here's that introductory post that I know you're just DYING to read.

I'm a librarian (duh).  I've been working in a public library for a couple of years and love my job.  Really.  I'm an artist; in the past I've been a gallery owner, barista, web designer, office manager, administrative assistant, ticket taker at a zoo, fast food lackey, jewelry designer, community volunteer, board member, teacher and more things than I care to admit.  I'm also a single mom to a pretty friggin awesome kid.

That's all the background you're getting.

I've been thinking about doing this blog for a while, but hadn't because the world really needing another blog.  Another person so absorbed in themselves that they think the world wants to read their thoughts.  But dammit, I love blogs.  And this maybe isn't so much about my thoughts, but rather, shit that happens while I'm at work.

This is what pushed me over the edge and made me do this:

Last week, I was working the circulation desk, checking in books, assisting patrons, etc., etc.   A lady walks up and plops three books on the desk in front of me.

Me: Checking these in?
Patron: Yes, I'm bringing them back.  This one (points to book with dude half-naked on cover)... this one... I started to read it, but it's just nasty.  It's not fit to be on the shelf.
Me: (Oh great! My first complaint about a book!)  Ok...
Patron:  Heaven forbid if a young person gets hold of that book!  Just filthy!  (Starts to walk off.)  I'll be back, I'm getting some more books.
Me:  ??

The patron then proceeded to walk straight to the romance section and return with three more bodice-ripping craptacular romance novels.

And that's why I finally started this blog.