Buncha Smart-Ass Bitches

I tell myself daily that I love people. 

I don't believe myself.

This evening, I was turning off PC monitors before we closed.  Our computers shut down 15 minutes before we close so that we can herd people out of the library.  Seriously.  When we say we close at a certain time, that does not mean that your ass can stay after that time. 

But I digress.

Two women were on a PC, working frantically on who knows what.  One asks for more time when I inform them that the PCs shut down 15 minutes before we close.  One seems accepting of this information, the other gets downright bitchy. 

Patron:  I can't believe they didn't tell me that the computers shut down before the library closed!  I asked what time they closed!

Me:  Did you ask what time we closed or what time the computers shut down?  I'm sure if you'd told the librarian that you needed to use the computers, they would have told you that they shut down early.

Patron:  Of course I did!  I asked what time you closed and then I asked if the computers would be available until then.

Me: (Suuuuuuuure you did.)  I'm sorry you weren't given the correct information.

Patron:  Well!  We wouldn't have driven over here if we'd known this!

Me:  (Why did you drive over here?  There's a library where you were.  Were you banned?  I'm beginning to think you were banned.)

A few minutes later, I walked over to the area again, this time to take down a clock that had stopped. 

Patron:  Excuse me?  Can you come over here and show us how to print this out before we run out of time in 56 seconds. 

Me:  (Standing on chair... begins to get down out of chair to head that way.)

Patron:  Ma'am!

Me:  I'm coming.  (Seriously, I was 5 feet away, on a chair.  Could she not tell I was headed that direction?"

I see that she has a website pulled up.  I click on "File, Print" etc. in order to get the item printed out before the PC shuts down.

Patron:  Where is it?  Where will it be?

Me:  It prints out at the front desk.  You can pick it up there.

I pick up the clock and head to the office to change the battery.  On my way, I turn to the ladies at the circ desk and say "Will you please check to make sure that whatever it is they need on PC #10 has printed out?"

A few minutes later, one of our pages comes in, holding what appears to be a mostly blank page.  She is followed closely by our circ manager.

Page:  OMG.  1) It didn't print out right and 2) what bitches!

Circ:  By the way, you should know that we're all "a bunch of smart-ass bitches."

Me:  Seriously?

Circ:  Yes, I informed them that they can't talk to us that way.

Outreach Librarian (who has found her way in):  I told them they had to leave.

Turns out she also escorted them from the building.  I love her.

I still don't love people.

Just How Many Books Do You Need?

Disclaimer:  Librarians LOVE avid readers.  They keep us employed.  They keep our collections current with requests for new authors or items we haven't heard of before.  They are generally the most awesome, courteous and gracious people that set foot in a library.  Generally.   But not all.

Policy-speak:  Libraries have limits set for how many items patrons can check out.  Ours is 15 total items, which can include any mix of the following:

• all regular check out books (aka 3 week books)
• four (4) 14-day books (new books, also includes audio & holiday books)
• four (4) DVDs per household
• four (4) music CDs
• magazines

Sound reasonable?  Most patrons never check out that many at one time.  Many seem surprised that we even allow them to have that many out at once.  Never have I had anyone complain about the limit.  Until Monday.

Lady and her husband(?) walk to the counter.  They have more books that I have ever seen anyone try to carry out of the library.  However, since I see two people AND two library cards, I think nothing of it.  I scan the first card.

Me:  Ma'am.  This seems to be your son's card.  Is he with you?
Patron:  No, he's not with me.
Me:  Hold on one second.  (Turn around with card in had to talk to Director.)  I just want to verify that she can't use her son's card if he's not with her.  Correct?
Boss Lady:  Correct.
Me:  (Turn back around to face patron.)  I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't use this card unless your son is with you.  I see you have 8 audio books.  You'll have to put 4 of them back.
Patron:  (Very loud, annoyed sigh.)  Hmph.  (Plops down audio books and begins to go through them.)
Me:  Ma'am, can I have your card?

Patron flings card at me.
I proceed to begin scanning books as she (loudly) goes through her stack of audio books.  I notice there are still WAY too many items.

Me:  Ma'am, I've already scanned 10 books.  I know you want audio books, so that will be 14 items.  You're limited to 15.  Would you like to go through your books and magazines and weed out what you don't want?
Patron:  What do you mean?
Me:  There is a 15 item limit per patron on what can be checked out at one time.
Patron:  When did that start?????
Me:  That's always been our policy ma'am.
Patron:  I know I've checked out this much before!!!  (Shoves audio books toward me and begins flipping through magazines.)
Me:  I'm sorry, but the policy is 15 items and has been for a long time.

Patron slaps one magazine and book in front of me and shoves the items she can't check out to the side.  Amused co-worker picks up discarded item and places on book cart.  She's enjoying this WAY too much.  I finish scanning items, placing return date slips in a few and restack her pile.

Me:  There you go.  Your audio books are due ______ and other items are due ______.
Patron:  You just wait.  Next time I'll make sure I have my children with me!!!  (Storms out with her items and very quiet confused looking husband in tow.)

Thanks for threatening me with your children, lady.  Do they get to check out books that THEY want to read when they come or do you just use their cards to get your stuff?