I'm sorry for your, um, loss?

A co-worker sent me the following last night. Yet another reason to love my fellow librarians:

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I have one for you.

A lady comes in today and hands me her movies. She says that she'd like to renew them because she didn't get to watch them, and they might just be a little late, because her husband DIED and they buried him YESTERDAY.

I was like "YOUR HUSBAND DIED? OH MY GOSH, I AM SOO SORRY!" (and I think, you're worried about not getting to watch your movies? How are you functioning?!? You just buried your husband!)

(It was about this time that I remember that the guy I was thinking of, who I first thought she meant, who I always see her with, may not have been her husband. I had heard that somewhere. Then I think...she had ANOTHER man somewhere?)

Her: *looking at me a bit strangely* "Yes, the funeral was yesterday..."
Me: "Of course we can take off those fines..." so, I start deleting them (although by then thinking that maybe I should make a note, because if she starts coming in with stories every time about how someone died just to get out of fines...)
Her: "You were looking a bit strange..."
Me: (thinking, I look strange? What's up with me today? Where is this conversation going?)
Her: "...when I said my husband died..."
Me: "Oh, I was just surprised, and wanted to tell you we were so sorry for your loss..."
Her: "oh...yeah..._____ is driving me around (the guy I had thought was dead, but who is apparently the boyfriend), I just feel like I'm in a fog...I'm going to go watch these movies..."

Jeez. Sorry for your loss, and that your poor deceased husband messed up your movie check-outs. Maybe now you'll get to go watch them interrupted.

Just How Many Books Do You Need?

Disclaimer:  Librarians LOVE avid readers.  They keep us employed.  They keep our collections current with requests for new authors or items we haven't heard of before.  They are generally the most awesome, courteous and gracious people that set foot in a library.  Generally.   But not all.

Policy-speak:  Libraries have limits set for how many items patrons can check out.  Ours is 15 total items, which can include any mix of the following:

• all regular check out books (aka 3 week books)
• four (4) 14-day books (new books, also includes audio & holiday books)
• four (4) DVDs per household
• four (4) music CDs
• magazines

Sound reasonable?  Most patrons never check out that many at one time.  Many seem surprised that we even allow them to have that many out at once.  Never have I had anyone complain about the limit.  Until Monday.

Lady and her husband(?) walk to the counter.  They have more books that I have ever seen anyone try to carry out of the library.  However, since I see two people AND two library cards, I think nothing of it.  I scan the first card.

Me:  Ma'am.  This seems to be your son's card.  Is he with you?
Patron:  No, he's not with me.
Me:  Hold on one second.  (Turn around with card in had to talk to Director.)  I just want to verify that she can't use her son's card if he's not with her.  Correct?
Boss Lady:  Correct.
Me:  (Turn back around to face patron.)  I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't use this card unless your son is with you.  I see you have 8 audio books.  You'll have to put 4 of them back.
Patron:  (Very loud, annoyed sigh.)  Hmph.  (Plops down audio books and begins to go through them.)
Me:  Ma'am, can I have your card?

Patron flings card at me.
I proceed to begin scanning books as she (loudly) goes through her stack of audio books.  I notice there are still WAY too many items.

Me:  Ma'am, I've already scanned 10 books.  I know you want audio books, so that will be 14 items.  You're limited to 15.  Would you like to go through your books and magazines and weed out what you don't want?
Patron:  What do you mean?
Me:  There is a 15 item limit per patron on what can be checked out at one time.
Patron:  When did that start?????
Me:  That's always been our policy ma'am.
Patron:  I know I've checked out this much before!!!  (Shoves audio books toward me and begins flipping through magazines.)
Me:  I'm sorry, but the policy is 15 items and has been for a long time.

Patron slaps one magazine and book in front of me and shoves the items she can't check out to the side.  Amused co-worker picks up discarded item and places on book cart.  She's enjoying this WAY too much.  I finish scanning items, placing return date slips in a few and restack her pile.

Me:  There you go.  Your audio books are due ______ and other items are due ______.
Patron:  You just wait.  Next time I'll make sure I have my children with me!!!  (Storms out with her items and very quiet confused looking husband in tow.)

Thanks for threatening me with your children, lady.  Do they get to check out books that THEY want to read when they come or do you just use their cards to get your stuff?