Excuse Me, Can I Talk to You About Our Lord... No, no you may not.

We all have them.  The Mormon missionaries who are in town for 3-6 months.  99% of the time, there aren't any problems with them.  We may have to remind the new black ties that they can't leave their literature around the library, but that's usually it.  (Except for the last guy who left the Book of Mormon in the bathroom stall.  That's ingenuity there, folks.)

No, the last guy who was here was dubbed The Grumpy Mormon.  Think Grumpy Cat wearing a short sleeved white shirt & black tie. 

Done laughing?  Let's continue.

Grumpy Mormon was a tall fellow, who insisted that he and his fellow missionary be seated at adjacent PCs.  If two computers weren't available in the adult section, he would come back to the desk and request computers in the kids area.  If the kids were out of school, then he would ask to go into the genealogy room.  Picky, picky, picky. 

Then, I noticed that there were new shortcuts on the genealogy PC desktops.  The first couple of times, they were just links to Family Search, the genealogy website run by the Mormons out of Utah.  It's a fantastic site, but YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH MY COMPUTERS, ASSHAT.  Ahem.  So, I deleted the shortcuts and went on.

The last time I went in and found a shortcut, I went to delete and 'lo and behold, IT WAS A PROGRAM.  WHAT?  You seriously installed a program on my computer?  I've never had to lock those PCs down like the public computers because, seriously, genealogists usually only use the PCs for research.  I was irate.  I think I may have turned some shade of crimson.  I uninstalled the program (from both PCs, mind you), and had to put parental controls on the computers.  I informed the staff that if Grumpy came in to come and get me.  That was fun.

Me:  Excuse me?  You installed a program on the genealogy computer.
Grumpy:  Yes.
Me:  You can't do that.
Grumpy:  Oh?
Me:  No, no you can't.
Grumpy:  Even if it's a genealogy program?
Me:  No, not even then.  These are not your computers.
Grumpy:  Oh, I just assumed it wouldn't be an issue.
Me:  Really?  Try it again and you'll lose your computer privileges.
Grumpy:  ...
Grumpy's cohort:  <looks ashamed and embarrassed>

Needless to say, when Grumpy was replaced by the new missionary, we did a dance of joy.

Moral of the story:  DO NOT FUCK WITH THE LIBRARY'S STUFF.

What's Privacy?

Back to G____ of the Entitled Genealogists Guild. 

For some reason, our library has had anyone doing research in the genealogy room sign in at the front desk.  When I began working at the library, the explanation I got was that tracking how many patrons used the room, as well as from where they travelled, helped with our funding.  Not the case.  So, a co-worker redesigned the sign-in form, getting rid of the patron's contact information.  However, the book was still on the counter, there for the world to see.  This disturbed me, as well as the librarian who'd redesigned the form.

In the interim, I took some time to actually go through the family files.  I'd already spent time cataloging all of the microfilm, rearranging the books, rebinding, etc.  You know, the fun stuff :)  But I hadn't gone through the family files.  HOLY CRAP!  Addresses!  Phone numbers!  I spent two days blacking out personal contact information (addresses & phone numbers, not names since it IS the genealogy room).  I killed three Sharpies in the process.  At the end of it, I felt pretty damn satisfied with my work.  But those damn books were still there.

I approached the director a few weeks ago, to ask about the books and voiced my concerns regarding patron privacy.  The books had been stored in a filing cabinet IN THE ROOM.  I found books from 1993.  I spent many days shredding sign in forms.  In fact, I still have a pile on my desk.  Which brings me back to G____.

G____ asked me for the old sign-in books, because he needed to look up someone's email address.  I informed him that the books no longer existed as sharing this information was against library policy as it violated our patrons' privacy.  He was indignant! 

G___:  When I go to ____, they copy my driver's license before I go in!
Me:  Yes, but do they share that information with other researchers?
G___: What?
Me:  Just like we don't share what books you check out with anyone, I have to respect patrons' privacy.
G___:  I don't understand.  What if I need to contact someone?
Me:  I'm sorry.  If someone asks me for your phone number, I can't look in our system for it.  If I can find you in the phone book, I can do that.  Otherwise, I can't use our system to give out information.  Thus, I can't put this information out for other people.
G___:  Hmph.  (walks away)

What I don't understand is this mine used to work for an archiving agency!  He should know about privacy policies!  Argh.  Nothing like telling someone that they can't do something when they think that they should.

Alert the Media!

One of my hats at work is resident genealogist.  It kind of fell into my lap when another librarian retired and no one wanted to take over the genealogy collection.  That's ok, though, because I really enjoy doing research.  In college, it was the research part of a paper that I loved.  Notsomuch when it came to writing the actual paper.

Anywho, genealogy.

We have all of the local papers on microfilm with the exception of the current year.  Those are kept on hard copy and then recycled once we have it on microfilm.  We USED to have ALL of the papers in hard copy, but they weren't ours.  As in, we stored them for the local historical society and could use them if someone requested the hard copy, but they didn't belong to us.

In cleaning out the storage room one day, I came across all of the papers.  The boxes and boxes.. and boxes of newspapers.  The poor storage room was bursting at the seams, so I asked the Director about them.  I was told they belonged to the historical society (I didn't know at that point, I just knew we had them all on microfilm and they were taking up way more space than we could afford to allocate to them).  I double checked with the assistant director and the lady who'd retired.  So, I called a member of the historical society, told him my dilemma and he said he'd come pick them all up and put them in storage with the rest of the items from the historical society.  Woo-hoo!

Fast forward a few months.  My boyfriend (who happens to work at said local newspaper) calls and tells me that he's received an email from someone claiming that the library has thrown all of the old papers away and they're now in the dump.  Uh, no.  So, I explain what happened to the papers while thinking "even if we did, if they'd belonged to us, it's our prerogative what we do with them!"  I tell the Director, just so she knows that the info is out there in case someone approaches her.

Fast forward another month.  I'm in the genealogy room, assisting a patron.  Then HE shows up.  HE is the genealogist who's in the library at least once a week, toting several bags of research.  He's promised us all of his research when he passes, so yeah, I try to be especially nice to the man.  However, he can be a pill when he wants to be.  Ok ok, he can be a giant pain in the ass.  We shall call him G____.

G____ makes a comment that it's a shame that we (meaning him) can't look through the hard copies of the newspapers anymore.  I remark that we have everything on microfilm and we just didn't have the room to store the papers anymore, so they're with the historical society.  He then tells me that another librarian has told him that the papers are in the dump.  WTF?  I text said librarian, we talk on the phone, and of course, this is not the case.  He told G____ that we had everything on microfilm so we got rid of them.  End of story.

Lovely.  So, I walk back into the genealogy room to set G____ straight.  He pops a gasket.  "Well he told me that you'd gotten rid of them!  What was I supposed to think?"

HOW ABOUT NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, YOU AGING TWAT!?!?

Ahem.  I explain again that the papers were not ours.  "When did that happen?  They were yours.  Why did the library claim them on their insurance when some of them were damaged?"

I dunno, why in the hell is it your business.

Double ahem.  I calmly tell him that I don't know.  This is what I was told.  I verified the info with three librarians and contacted the historical society.  End of story.  And please, don't jump to conclusions or AT LEAST VERIFY WITH THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF SAID MATERIALS.

I need a drink.