Check out these cobwebs

Daaaaaamn, ya'll.  It's dusty around here.  Since my last post, I went back to school, got my MLIS (hot damn!) and got a spiffy raise to go with it.  (Don't get too excited.  I'm still broke.)

I've also had a shit ton of crazy folks to deal with.

In the last 6 months, we've had an older man start coming to the library.  He usually brings his laptop and sits at one of the cafe tables near the front door.  He's always given off a creepy vibe, sitting in his knitted raccoon hat, occasionally complaining that we were intentionally keeping just him off the internet (yeah... because we can do that).  Then someone overheard him say that he liked to sit in that particular area of the library because it's next to the kids area and... he likes to watch the kids.  Seriously?  Because what I really need to deal with is a pedophile.

Most of the time, creepy guy (what we all call him) just gives off a big ol' creepy vibe.  One day, he was completely turned around in his chair, just staring at the kids.  Our token guybrarian got up and went to the office door and took the situation in.  It was kind of funny to watch him stare the guy down.  The kids went into story hour and guybrarian came back into the office, weirded out but feeling better about the creepy-kid-watching dude.

After storyhour, the kids emerged and we watched the doorway to see what happened.  Not only did the dude start staring down the kids again, but he GOT UP and approached one of the grandmothers, questioning her about the program the kids just attended.  At first, we thought maybe they knew each other until she began to back off.  Yay.  So, guybrarian went back to the door, started talking to said grandmother and the guy backed off.  While we can't kick him out since he's never done anything to get booted (oh, that he would!), we can stare him down and keep him from feeling comfortable around the kids.

Wait, you say!  Maybe he just likes kids and doesn't mean anything by it!  Uh-huh.  And monkeys might fly out of my butt.

Creepy Old Guy

Officially, librarians will tell you that we love all of our patrons, we await eagerly for them to approach the desk and ask us their questions.  This is mostly true.  Mostly.

Unofficially, there are patrons that make us cringe when we see them approaching.  There are the odiferous folk for whom we keep the can of air freshener behind the desk.  There are the ones who steal the toilet paper and air fresheners out of the bathroom, but you can't prove it.  There are those whom you know don't like you, and you don't like them, but you smile and bear it instead of telling him/her to go fuck themselves.  Professionalism is key!

And then... there's the Creepy Old Guy. 

Granted, we have many older male patrons who give the female employees slight cases of the heebie jeebies, but this particular man takes the cake.  I'm not sure how many clothes are in his closet, but his "uniform" consists of loose khakis (beginning to fall down), a short sleeve shirt that's completely unbuttoned, and a white tank top (wife beater) about two sizes too large.  He comes in with his bag of books thrown over his rolling walker and shuffles to the front desk.  He then proceeds to put the bag on the desk and give whichever female the once over (since we only have one token guybrarian, it's usually a female at the desk).  After doing so, he'll unload his books from his bag, one at a time, while staring said librarian down.  Most of us will take the books as he does this, avoiding looking at the man directly. 

But then, he's done.  No more books.  But he continues to stand there, staring down your chest.  On most occasions, whomever is helping Creepy Old Guy will wait a beat and then announce "That's it!  You've turned everything in." or "Thanks!  That's got you!" or "All in, anything else?" 

He continues to stand there, acting like he didn't hear you.  "Sir, that's it.  Anything else?"

I swear to the heavens above that he will lick his lips, slowly raise his eyes from your chest, smile (eek), grab his bag and walk away.  When he returns with his books to take home, it's the same routine.  Several of us have done the obvious - squat a bit to see if we can catch his eye and let him know that we see him staring down our books, but he doesn't care.  He just takes the opportunity to smile wider, like there's nothing we can do about it.  One of my coworkers has considered just pulling her shirt down and giving him an eyeful, but none of us want to be responsible for calling 911 and having to fill out an incident report.

Personally, I think the man needs the walker from years of bending over, looking at women's chests.